All heart opening practices failed when I found myself confused by a gynecologic exam.

In a world that faces mass starvation and ecological disaster it is easy to call Mister Rotting Tomato a luxury problem. Yet by opening up to all things broken, dirty and out-of-place, we find the doorway to our uncontrollable, raw, tender and magical lives.

When I was a teenager, I dramatically pasted onto my bedroom walls lyrics from Madonna’s song ‘bedtime story’: today is the last day/ that I’m using words/ they’ve gone out/ lost their meaning/ don’t function anymore.Strangely enough, this desire to let go of words all together pushed me into the most word-y job there is: writing. Inspired by writers who maybe couldn’t “get it all down”, but came remarkably close, I started using words as best as I could –and discovered a joy in that endeavor that to this day remains unequaled by anything else.

My discovery of 'Zen Howl' When I was about three years old, my parents took me and my sister out of the city’s July heat on a bike ride to a cherry orchard. When the four of us settled around the torn open brown bag exploding with big, juicy cherries, I insisted on eating them [...]

The feeling of having nothing to lose is sometimes worth some losing. Geertje Couwenbergh shaved off her red trademark curls during a difficult time and discovered the meaning of hair, loss, and the inescapable truth of change.